| June Visit! |
[Jun. 18th, 2009|08:18 pm] |
Here are a few photos from my visit to Ecuador, June 10-17. It was a wonderful experience. I hope to reflect on it soon.
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| reflection |
[Mar. 1st, 2009|10:02 am] |
On March 10th I will be giving an alumni lecture at Clarke College, where I graduated in 2006. The theme that Clarke chose for the year is "The World is My Responsibility." My talk is entitled, "An Unfolding Lesson: The World is My Neighbor."
I wish I made more time to reflect throughout my daily life. It's something I'm hoping to work on this Lent. But luckily, because I was asked to give this lecture, I was forced to do some reflecting.
My speech is centered around the idea of love of neighbor, and part of my understanding of what that means was revealed to me during my time in Ecuador.
I'm going to copy most of my speech below. There's plenty of it that doesn't relate to Ecuador, and the entire speech takes about 45 minutes to deliver, so don't feel like you have to read the whole thing. My reflections of Ecuador are mostly towards the end of it. I've included a row of asterisks before the section on Ecuador in case you want to skip to that part :)
Thanks.
As I thought about the theme for the year, “The World Is My Responsibility,” I reflected on what I had to share on the topic. What had I experienced that I could share with others? I got to thinking about the people who have come and gone from my life and who influenced my worldview, and thus my title came to be: “An Unfolding Lesson: The World Is My Neighbor.”
A few things about the title… First, a realization I have come to is that indeed the world is my neighbor. Second, there have been many events throughout my life that have led me to this conclusion, thus it is “an unfolding lesson.” This evening my hope is simply to share that unfolding lesson with you, with the hopes that you can somehow find yourself, directly or indirectly, in my story too.
Just this semester I started my first class towards a Masters of Theology at Loras College, and for this class I read a book called The Incarnation, which includes an article by Kathleen Norris about the language we use. She points out that the gospels are stories, they engage our senses and draw us in.
As an English major during my time at Clarke I learned a thing or two about writing which Norris mentioned in her article too. First she mentioned the old, basic rule, “Show, don’t tell.” Then she mentioned that adjectives should be used with caution, as they tend to tell the reader how to feel. Finally she mentioned not to take language for granted so that it turns into mindless slogans. How can one avoid telling rather than showing, avoid telling others how they should feel or what they should take from something, and avoid mindless slogans? I think we can do that by telling stories. Because within every story is some truth that the listener can gather by him or herself.
I also read an article once about the power of sharing stories. It was an article by Tricia Hoyt entitled “A Conversion Moment through Redemptive Listening.”
Tricia talked about sessions called “Listening Sessions” which parishes in her diocese were holding. During these sessions, members of the immigrant community shared their stories.
I hope you’ll permit me to read some of it to you, as it says so much of what I want to say.
Hoyt writes,
“As I listened to the accounts of families losing farms and businesses, what I heard was simple desperation. I was among the many who audibly gasped at the story told by a young woman, brought over the border as a child and now married with two young children, whose eight year struggle to legalize her status was rewarded by the news last month that she is to be deported.
Something happened to me that day. I have been pondering these last weeks what that was. Words don’t describe it very well. To say that I was moved and transformed is to risk dismissing the experience as trivial, for this was not the surface emotional response of ‘Oh how sad!’
It was a deeper, almost visceral, permanent searing of something new inside me.
But how? Why?
I realize that intellectually, I learned nothing new that day. No new data. No “aha!” moment of sudden clarity. No sudden rush of understanding. Yet I came away from that day in a different kind of solidarity than ever before.
I entered that day into the sound of another person’s raw, lived experience, and in that act of listening, it’s as if I entered under the skin of another person’s life. I am still me, yet I take the ‘picture’ of another person’s reality with me, as a part of me.
This, then, is solidarity. Real solidarity is what occurs when we deliberately choose to encounter another in his or her story.”
I share Hoyt’s words with you tonight because they ring true with me, and because my intention tonight is to share stories. Perhaps we will experience a bit of that conversion too, and let it transform us when we leave here this evening. It seems that what Hoyt learned through the shared story is that word “solidarity,” a deeper connection among human beings, and understanding of the world as our neighbor.
(Slideshow of photos)
What you just saw are pictures of people I know or have known. Some I knew very well, and some were mere acquaintances. Some were my family members, some friends. Some were from Waterloo or Dubuque, others from South America. Some were my students at Wahlert, others my students in Ecuador. But the one thing they have in common is that they are all my neighbors.
Now I have to be honest, the idea of the world as my neighbor isn’t really an original idea… In the gospel of Matthew, the Pharisees ask Jesus, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” and Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment…
And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'” So if Jesus said that this is the greatest commandment, it must be pretty important and it’s worth taking a look at how we live it out. Also in this statement, Jesus makes a direct connection between love of God and love of neighbor—another reason why we should explore this.
As an unfolding lesson, my Catholic faith comes into play. It has a large role in my worldview and in how I live my life, but I know not everyone is Catholic. But one doesn’t have to be Catholic to realize the importance of a statement like the greatest commandment. It’s really not strictly a Catholic idea but a human idea—and in that sense I suppose it is catholic, or universal.
Let’s look for a moment at the Golden Rule. In Christianity it’s most often phrased as, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The suggestion here is that there is something common among human beings, and that there should exist among them mutual respect. Other major religions have similar statements.
Confucianism uses the wording, “Do not do to others what you would not like yourself.”
Buddhism offers, “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”
Expressed in Hinduism, “Do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.”
Islam: “Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you.”
Judaism says, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your countrymen. Love your fellow as yourself.”
And Taoism states, “Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.
The Golden Rule has been expressed in different religions, different times, and different contexts, so it seems like there must be some value in it. I know I want to be treated with respect and be cared for, so I would treat others in the same way.
Central to this idea is the idea of reciprocity, a word I want to come back to later. Even though I’m not very good at math and won’t be including any in this presentation, I do remember learning about reciprocals in math class. And I remember when I discovered that this wasn’t a word that stayed in the math classroom—it had an important role in relationships. The Golden Rule involves reciprocity because it is a giving and a receiving of love and respect. In this sense, our interactions with our “neighbors” should be reciprocal.
I said that I would explain how I came to believe that the world is my neighbor, and I also said that my Catholic faith has shaped me in a lot of ways. One aspect of this is Catholic Social Teaching, which I learned about for the first time in my life when I was a first year student here at Clarke. Catholic Social Teaching is sometimes referred to as the Catholic Church’s “best kept secret.” While I’m sure that many of you all have heard of it before, there are many people who have not, and ever since I’ve learned of it, it has been very formative in my understanding of humanity and the world and our interactions.
In case you haven’t heard of Catholic Social Teaching, there are 7 major themes involved.
They are:
1) the life and dignity of the human person
2) call to family, community, and participation
3) rights and responsibilities
4) option for the poor and vulnerable
5) the dignity of work and the rights of workers
6) solidarity
7) care for God’s creation
All of these themes are very important and can be life changing if we take them to heart. When we look at them in light of our economic situation especially, I think we can see how they play a role and how we should treat one another. All of these themes are important, but I’m only going to touch on the first one for now.
When I look at the first theme I notice the word choice of the life and dignity of the human person. Not the rich person or the poor person or the intelligent person or the black person or the white person. The human person. The first theme in Catholic Social Teaching has a huge affect on how I live my life.
I’m a teacher at Wahlert Catholic High School here in town. It’s my second year teaching at Wahlert. Last year I mostly taught English but this year I had the opportunity to teach Religion and Campus Ministry. I teach one class of freshmen religion and then the rest are juniors. Junior Religion is about morality, so we talk about how we go about making moral decisions. When we discussed this in class, we discussed the idea that the decisions we make which affect other people are dependent on our idea of the human person.
As Catholics, as this first theme suggests, we have a basic understanding of the life and dignity of the human person, so our decisions should always begin with this in mind. How will we treat the people we interact with every day if we keep in mind the life and dignity of that person? This includes our family, our friends, our classmates and coworkers, our professors, and the people we don’t see every day or maybe who we’ve never met but who are still part of our human family.
I mentioned that I first learned about Catholic Social Teaching as a first year student at Clarke. That’s because I was preparing to participate in a service trip to Hesed House, a homeless shelter in Aurora, Illinois. I heard about the alternative Spring Break opportunity and decided to give it a try. In the weeks leading up to the trip, those of us going on the trip gathered to pray together, learn about Hesed House, discuss poverty and homelessness, and prepare for the trip. We learned that the word “Hesed” is a Hebrew word, rich in meaning, relating to God’s loving mercy and kindness. We learned that Hesed House offers many services including a soup kitchen, food pantry, emergency shelter, a medical clinic, advocacy work, and a transitional living community. And we had a chance to experience it all first-hand.
When we arrived to Hesed House, I remember feeling a little out of my element—away from my rather comfortable situation in Dubuque, Iowa. We slept in the part of the building labeled as the Transitional Living Community, or TLC. This section was for individuals or families who were trying to overcome the causes of their homelessness and get back on their feet. We also spent some time at the soup kitchen. But we weren’t simply expected to serve the meals, with a safe divide between us and the guests of the shelter. We were expected to grab a plate and find a place to sit among these guests. I’m a bit of a shy person so this was a challenge for me, but I did it anyway.
Little by little during our days at Hesed House, we became more comfortable with our surroundings and it became easier to find a seat among strangers who seemed at first to have so little in common with me. Sometimes we shared polite small talk, other times we played dominoes, and still other times we were blessed with the gift of a shared story. Some people admitted the mistakes they had made relating to alcohol and drugs. Others spoke about the comfortable lives they had led before they lost their jobs, and the way poverty had come between them and their families. Many said they couldn’t wait until they were back on their feet so that they could come back and volunteer at this place which had given them so much. The more stories were shared, the more barriers were broken down and that place was transformed, and I saw that I was standing on holy ground. We did quite a bit of work during our time at Hesed House like cleaning and painting, but the most rewarding part was the exchange of stories, when it became clear that despite how it may seem sometimes, we are one human family.
My experience at Hesed House that spring break inspired me to return the following 2 spring breaks. When I returned to Hesed House that second time, I thought back to the uncomfortable feelings I had had the first time I had been there and realized that something had changed. This time I was in a place I was familiar with. Some of the guests remembered me and I them. Other guests were no longer there—they had moved on, and I wondered how they were doing. I marveled at the guests’ generosity—that they would welcome our group from Clarke every year, and that even though we came to serve them, they always found a way to serve us and teach us something more valuable. One young man went out and bought enough Little Debbie snacks for each person in our group.
It sounds silly but it was a moving gesture. He had almost nothing to his name and couldn’t afford even the basic necessities, but he felt called to thank us in this way. Another man, Walter, while unable to offer us anything tangible, recited his poetry to us, sharing a piece of himself with us.
Last year I was fortunate enough to be asked by Clarke to lead a group of Clarke students on a service trip back to Hesed House during Easter Break, and I jumped at the opportunity to return to that beautiful place. Every time I return, I learn something new. That time I had the chance to talk to a young man who was only a few years older than I. He seemed like a put-together young man, clean and respectable, obviously intelligent, maybe a little socially awkward. He generously shared his story, explaining that he had some challenges mentally, that holding a job always became too stressful and overwhelming so that he could never keep one for long. It struck me how normal he seemed, not unlike me or my friends or family.
Another incredible part of that experience was a prayer service held at the soup kitchen on Good Friday. The room was transformed as the lights were dimmed and candles lit every table. Some of the Clarke volunteers along with guests of the shelter, young and old, took turns reading passages from the Bible relating to Jesus’ suffering and death, and then we participated in a hand-washing service. As we heard the story of Christ being betrayed and his suffering, I looked around the room and saw the story unfolding in front of me. The image of the suffering Christ is still with us, in the faces of the forgotten, the betrayed, the starving, the ignored. It might take some sacrifice, it might take getting out of our comfort zone, but we are called to respond in love. The world is our neighbor.
So the questions I’m asking myself are why I believe that the world is my neighbor and how this idea is lived out. I call it an unfolding lesson and have already given several examples of events or ideas that have helped shape this belief in my life, including the service trip to Hesed House. But the lesson began before my experience at Hesed House. I’m not sure I would have even wanted to be a part of a service trip had it not been for the lessons my family taught me growing up, many of which they might not realize that they taught me.
When my twin sister Amanda and I were 5 or 6, our mom took us to the Salvation Army to help serve a meal. Well I didn’t really like this because it made me a little uncomfortable and I had to wear a hair net and that was not pleasant. But after we served the meal, an employee at the Salvation Army came up to me and my sister, and she told us that we did a good job, and then she rewarded us with a gift of gummi bears. And then it was worth having to wear a hair net! I think it was the gummi bears that made me so interested in service in the coming years of my life My parents also taught us the importance of caring for others by driving individuals to church who, for one reason or another, could not drive themselves, and by having our family help wrap and deliver presents with our church around Christmas every year. And it wasn’t just special events like these but their attitudes and actions every day—how they asked one another about their day when they got home from work, took turns cooking dinner, attended all of our music concerts and sporting events no matter how awful we were. I don’t know how they ever sat through all of those basketball games, but they never let on that it wasn’t our strongest gift!
Loving our neighbor isn’t only a concept that applies to service trips and special circumstances, but also to the everyday occurrences which take place under our own roofs with our families. I’ve recently been able to add a new dimension to this understanding because my husband Kurt and I were married this past June. I’ve been able to take a look at what it means to love someone day in and day out, in sickness and in health, for better or worse… and we’re happy and going strong. I truly do give a lot of the credit for our success up to this point to Kurt. He definitely does his fair share of cooking, and washing dishes, and taking out the garbage, and cleaning the bathroom… Well, maybe not that last one… But he’s great at everything else. I think this is a place where that word reciprocity comes in to play again. When I have a busy, stressful week, he jumps right in and does more cooking and cleaning without being asked! And when he has a busy week and has to stay at work late, hopefully he’d say I do the same. There are times in life when we have more of an opportunity to give, and other times when we need to take a little more. When we’ve got the resources—be it time, money, or talent—we’ve got to offer it—and hope that when we’re in need, someone else with the resources will do the offering for us.
Marriage is great and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I do admire people who take advantage of the single life. My sister Amanda is one of these people. This past December she started her 2nd year as an Americore Vista in Ames, working as a volunteer coordinator. She receives a living stipend which isn’t much and therefore lives a pretty simple life. She organizes volunteer opportunities and works with non-profit organizations who are in need of volunteers. She’s on numerous committees and is very aware of the needs of the people in her community, and she makes whatever connections she can to help get those needs met. She gets so much done because she’s committed to what she does and doesn’t let a lot of distractions into her life. My point is that single or married, we’re all called to love our neighbors, whoever they may be.
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Whether we’re talking about family, friends, or strangers, we’re all part of one human family and we need each other. The more people I meet in various situations, the more I come to an understanding of a global humanity. When the school year ended after my junior year at Clarke, I ventured into new territory with Clarke students and faculty when I went on a 10-day immersion trip to Ecuador through a program called Rostro de Cristo, or the Face of Christ in Spanish. Perhaps you know that Ecuador is a small country in South America. It has beautiful, varied terrain including beaches, mountains, and rainforests. During our trip we stayed in a city called Durán, about 20 minutes away from the largest city in Ecuador, Guayaquil. We didn’t see any beaches, mountains, or rainforests, but rather dirt roads and cane houses. Rostro de Cristo’s approach to these short-term immersion trips is to focus on “being” rather than “doing.” We did do some service, but mostly we visited the programs that Rostro de Cristo ran like the after-school programs and day care centers. We also had “neighborhood time” every day, when we simply went out into the community to spend time with the neighbors.
Here again we learned the power of a story. If we are always “doing” something, we might feel a sense of accomplishment in what we do and feel like we were able to give something to others. But in “being,” in listening and sharing stories and simply being present, we can be changed forever. For many people it is a much harder challenge to “be” rather than “do.” “Being” requires us to quiet our minds, forget our responsibilities and agendas, and be present in the moment.
I won’t ask you to raise your hands, but how many people during your time in this room this evening have found that your minds have wandered to the tasks that remain when you leave this evening? I don’t say this to criticize, because I do it all the time. Being present in the moment is hard work, but something that’s worth pursuing. Our culture doesn’t support us much in this goal. It’s often commonplace to see a group of people spending time together, and within that group of people someone might be on their cell phone talking to someone else, someone might be texting, others might be sending e-mails or instant messages through a phone or computer. Even when we are intentionally spending time with people, we’re often not present to the moment. What if we turned off our cell phones and computers a little more often to just “be”? Would it be a challenge? Probably. Would good come from it? We could give it a try and see what happens.
But back to Ecuador… During my 10 days there I felt drawn to learn more about the place and the people and what they could teach me, so I decided to apply with Rostro de Cristo for their year-long volunteer opportunity. I make it sound simple, but it wasn’t an easy decision. Even though I’ve forced myself out of my comfort zone enough times, it’s never easy for me. I love my family and feeling secure and comfortable, and I dreaded the thought of leaving my then-boyfriend for a year—but don’t worry, it all worked out in the end. I thought that if I didn’t go for the opportunity then, I maybe never would. After praying about it for months and seeking out advice, I decided to apply to the program and was accepted. And so I spent a year of my life after college in Durán, Ecuador with 10 other volunteers from across the United States who I met for the first time just a few days before we headed to Ecuador. This experience certainly is a part of my unfolding lesson.
In Ecuador, all of us volunteers had a morning job and an afternoon job. In the morning I worked at a medical dispensary; in the afternoons I taught English at a school called Nuevo Mundo. It was a little overwhelming and exhausting at first, trying to learn as much Spanish as quickly as I could, dealing with the heat, living with strangers, adjusting to the food and different culture. But slowly I picked up on things. My experience in Ecuador has shaped my worldview and attitude more than I will probably ever know, and I think that’s because I was there long enough to get deep into the stories and lives of some of the Ecuadorians.
Even besides this however, I learned a lot from the structure of our day in Ecuador. We lived in what we called intentional Christian communities. Some volunteer organizations call on a single person to serve somewhere, but Rostro de Cristo calls volunteers to live in community. It can be a huge blessing to share the experience with others, but also more challenging than one might think. With every decision we made, we had to think about how it would affect the other volunteers. And anyone who’s ever had a roommate knows the challenges of living with others. But it was still worth it. We were able to see that the decisions we made had an affect on our housemates, and we challenged ourselves to take that idea outside of the walls of our house, to see how the decisions we make every day affect others too. We didn’t just live in community but in an intentional community. Everything we did, we did for a reason, and we constantly re-evaluated our living practices. We woke up every morning bright and early and prayed together, whether we felt like it or not. We took turns cooking and doing dishes. Once a week we took turns leading “community nights,” when we’d gather and share a social evening. Once a week we took turns leading “spirituality nights,” when we’d prepare a thoughtful evening to help us grow and process our experience. And every night we prayed together before bed. The longer we were there, the busier life got, and the more tempting it was to skip out on community or spirituality nights, but that’s when it was the most important to continue with them. This time helped us stay focused and keep things in perspective. We both supported and challenged one another.
One of the volunteers I lived with Alison is a bit of a free spirit. One night during spirituality night she came up with the word “Loveolution,” meaning a revolution of love. She encouraged us to be a part of the loveolution! We laughed about it but also felt a joy and excitement at the possibility that this revolution of love would sweep the world, and we tried to live our days in Ecuador in love.
Again I return to the theme that the world is my neighbor. When it comes to the volunteers I worked with, they were once strangers but are now friends. My experience in meeting them and living with them for a year transformed my idea of loving my neighbor, and they are my “neighbors.” But besides them, I learned a lot from my Ecuadorian neighbors.
So let me tell you about the Ecuadorian family that I became the closest to. This family consists of Nancy, the mom; Javier, the dad; and Martha, Maria, and Rosita, their three daughters. One day I was walking to the corner where I would take the bus to school to teach English for the afternoon when they invited me in for lunch. I could never quite get used to eating the quantity of rice that they ate with their meals, so I asked for just “a little.” Well you can see from this picture what constituted a little in their eyes. Luckily Nancy was a great cook. I enjoyed sharing the meal with them and as I was walking out the door, Martha said to me, “You’re coming back for lunch tomorrow, right?” That was the beginning of my routine.
I would walk down the street to their two-story cane house. For much of the year they were confined to the upper level, as the lower level had a dirt floor and was completely flooded during the long rainy season. They made rooms by dividing the upper level with sheets and blankets hung from rope. They had no running water and got their water by standing on the curb and yelling, “agua!” when the water truck passed by, and they would fill up large containers which looked like trash cans with water to use throughout the day. They used this water for cleaning and bathing, and bought big jugs of water for drinking. And this family cooked lunch for me every afternoon. I would eat and play with the kids while Nancy watched out the window for the bus. She’d let me know when it arrived and I’d walk to the corner and teach for the afternoon. When I returned in the evening, the girls would yell my name and run to meet me with open arms. It didn’t get any better than that. During my year in Ecuador I spent a lot of time with this family, eating with them, sharing in Nancy and Javier’s wedding ceremony, attending church with them, and celebrating birthdays.
You know the Bible passage from Chapter 25 of Matthew, where Jesus tells of separating the sheep from the goats, and he says that those who will be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven are those who feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned, welcome the stranger? Well I went to Ecuador expecting to be the servant, to feed the hungry and make a difference in their lives. What I discovered was that through the hospitality and generosity of the people I met, I was the one who was served. My neighbors generously opened their houses to me and fed me, when I was sick they took care of me, they comforted me and welcomed me into their culture. Here again is reciprocity. We needed each other, and thank God we had each other. It’s amazing what the world can teach us if we let it.
The mother of that family, Nancy taught me so much about what it means to love one’s neighbor. When I looked at her living conditions, she would be what I consider poor. And yet she helped arrange fundraisers such as bingos to help raise money for those who she called “the most poor.” I called her near Christmas-time this year to ask her if they distributed food and other items to “the most poor,” and she said they had. She spoke with remorse of the poor who just gather on the streets because they have no home. And then she said that the most important thing is that we have food and our health and each other. When I think about what else I could be doing to love my neighbor, I think about Nancy’s example.
When it comes to Ecuador, I could talk about it for hours—but I won’t, not now anyway. I’ll just share one more thing with you. When the students of Nuevo Mundo had summer vacation they were expected to complete service hours, so for a couple months a student named Patty volunteered at the medical dispensary with me every morning. She was a teenager who loved to talk and had a lot of personality. Every day she would show up and update me about what was new in her life. And then she always said, “Cuentame algo,” – tell me something. Well at first I didn’t know what to say because Spanish was still a struggle. I could listen pretty well but had a harder time talking on my own. But she never let me off the hook—she always wanted a story from me, know matter what it was. She was incredibly patient with me, and because of my conversations with her I gained a lot more confidence in my ability to communicate in Spanish. The beauty of the time Patty and I volunteered together was in the shared story. She told me about her family life, her struggles, her friends, and even asked for advice about boys. But she always wanted me to share something of myself in return.
I have been blessed that I have met so many amazing people in my few years so far, that I have been given so much and had some opportunities to give to others too. Jesus called us to love our neighbors, and I come to understand more and more what that means as I share in the life of different people.
Let me begin to wrap up by sharing a few ideas with you.
First, I’ve shared a lot of stories about a lot of amazing people and feel so blessed for the people I’ve met throughout my life, but let me also say that love isn’t easy. While I was in Ecuador I read a book by Dean Brackley called “A Call to Discernment in Troubled Times.” In it he says,
"Dorothy Day used to quote Dotoyevsky, saying, ´Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.´ Above all, love demands sacrifice, and we are slow to sign up for that."
He brings up a good point. The phrase “love your neighbor” doesn’t get at the dirty parts of the job, but they’re there. Hopefully this won’t scare us away though. If we’re called to love our neighbor, there’s no way around it, regardless of the challenges this presents. But I also think that in the challenge we will find something good and worthwhile.
Second, I’d like to offer the importance of personal reflection. I could have had a lot of these same experiences and walked away with something completely different, or almost nothing at all, had I not spent time in reflection. During my time in Ecuador, we had community and spirituality nights to reflect on our experiences. We volunteers also participated in 3 retreats spaced out throughout the year, where we drove away from the city to a beautiful, secluded beach house. There we tried to put our experience in perspective, to see where we were at and where we were going. Also in Ecuador I spent time journaling and writing a blog.
A lot can be revealed through the process of thinking a concept out enough that it can be put into writing.
When I was taking education classes here at Clarke there was a strong emphasis on reflection, and I have to admit I got a little worn out with it all! We had to reflect after every classroom observation and reflect on every artifact in our portfolio. At the time it seemed tedious, but now I can’t speak enough for the value of reflection. As I prepared for this evening, I went back and read some entries from my blog from Ecuador. It brought back a lot of memories and reminded me of some lessons I learned. It also helped me see where I’m at today compared to where I was then.
Third, I’d offer encouragement to never stop being a student, to always seek wisdom and knowledge and experience. I believe that the world is my neighbor because of experiences I’ve had, some of which happen as we go about our lives, while others are positions I deliberately put myself in like service trips. I’ve learned from speaking to others who have more wisdom than I do and from reading insightful books and articles. While life naturally teaches us things, we also need to be active students, seeking out information.
Finally, I’d like to extend my title into this year’s theme and say that the world is my neighbor, and my neighbors are my responsibility. We have a responsibility to one another as human beings. In big or small ways, we’re called to love our neighbors, those nearby and those in forgotten corners of the world.
So I encourage all of you to explore the stories of your own lives and the lives of those you meet. May we continue to discover that the world is our neighbor, and may we join in on the loveolution! |
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| A Moment to Share |
[Oct. 11th, 2007|04:46 pm] |
So I've been wanting to write for a while but haven't had the time to really sit down and put some thought into it, and I still haven't had the time, which is why I've decided that instead of thinking about it, I'm just going to write.
The first week back was pretty intense. I was greeted with full support from family and friends, green grass, paved streets, running water, hot showers, my old cell phone, and a car. I was LOVING being with the ones I love, and HATING being away from the ones I love in Ecuador.
Five days after returning, I interviewed for a position at Wahlert Catholic High School, did some apartment shopping, was offered the apartment that I really wanted, and a couple hours later was offered the job at Wahlert. About another week later Kurt proposed (yes, he got down on one knee, and no, i didn't cry-- you know me, of course I laughed!), and boy was my head spinning after all of this. It all seemed unreal and all too easy. There's a verse from the Bible which unfortunately I can't remember very well, but it says something to the effect of He who leaves his family for the sake of God will be blessed not only in eternal life but also in this life. So here I am soaking up all these blessings. God is good. I've battled a little bit with how easy some of this is. The usual questions, you know.... Why was I born in the U.S. into a loving home and received a great education to lead me to a great job? And then I think about what a responsibility I have because of it. And then I wonder how I go about fulfilling that responsibility. Things to think about.
Starting my first teaching job in the U.S. has been both awesome and challenging. All of those problems that I dealt with in the Ecuadorian school system, well, it turns out that they weren't all Ecuadorian problems. Things don't always run well or make a lot of sense here either, but it's all working out. My co-workers here are just about the best co-workers a person could ask for, which makes all the difference in the world. I don't think I'd be surviving this job without all the help and support I've received from so many of my co-workers. My students are awesome too. I DEFINITELY have a few challenging ones, and I sometimes get frustrated by some of their lack of motivation and lack of understanding of the value and gift of their education, and I have a few days where I'm so upset that I don't cool down until the next day and even then it just starts all over again. And then I have days where I can't stop smiling because these kids are SO AWESOME and I'm so blessed to be able to share in their lives.
I thought I'd be signing up to be an English teacher, and I was kind of right, but I had some surprises in there too. My two English classes are creative writing and grammar and writing. Then I took over the Debate team because the previous debate coach just retired. He's built a legacy here and is a REALLY hard act to follow, but luckily he's still involved and is really supporting me. I also got assigned to a freshmen religion class, which I was a little overwhelmed with at first because it gave me a FOURTH prep as a first year teacher (well, first year in the U.S. anyway), but I am SO happy to be teaching it now. The kids are amazing and I just love being involved in that aspect of their lives, getting the chance to see who these kids really are, to see their strengths and weaknesses, to see them learn something about themselves and grow, to see how they think about their faith, to be able to tell them, "You are great!" AND, the other religion teachers are amazing too and I feel really honored to be working with them. In addition to these classes, I have two Resource classes, which is a class for any students with special needs. School and wedding planning are really taking over my life, but I'm glad to be busy and to have these things as a part of my life.
My religion students must be going insane with as much as I bring up Ecuador. I try not to go too overboard, and I think I'm doing ok, it's just that there are always SO many opportunities that come up in class to talk about things. One day there were a few extra minutes in class and one of the students had seen my desktop picture and asked who the photo was of, so I put the picture up on the screen for everyone to see and introduced them to Nancy, Martha, Maria, and Rosita. AND, get this, every Friday we discuss the mass readings for the coming Sunday. Well, this week is conferences and no school Thursday or Friday, so yesterday (Wednesday) we discussed the readings. And guess what the Gospel reading is about? The 10 lepers! And 2 days ago we had a guest speaker who brought in a video of interviews she had made, and one of the people in the video had said this: "You don't ever hear about lepers these days. Why? Because there aren't any!" And boy oh boy you better believe I used this chance in religion class to correct that statement. I told them all about Hansen's Disease and Sr. Annie, and they listened!
My transition is going better than I thought it would, I think because I've been keeping really busy and because I've had a ton of support. But I still think about my experience a lot, talk about it a lot, pray about it a lot. I talked to one of my Nuevo Mundo students today through MSN Messenger. We were both happy to be in contact with each other, and he told me, "I'm glad you're talking with me. Most of the other volunteers have forgotten about us, but not you." This was the first time I've talked to him since I left Ecuador. And I wonder what the heck I'm doing that demonstrates that I haven't forgotten about them. But the processing of the experience is still under way, and I can't expect to have all the answers right now. I just want to know how to use what I've gained.
Vamos a ver.....
Peace and blessings,
Jenny |
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| Ya mismo te vas! |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|01:15 pm] |
Yes, it´s true, as EVERYONE I encounter EVERY DAY reminds me, "Ya mismo te vas," (You´re leaving soon). As if I had forgotten.
It hasn´t hit me in an "in your face" kind of way, but in a way that acknowledges that life´s a journey with changes and with people that come in and out of your life.
One of these days I might break down, but so far I´m just asking God for the awareness to recognize the blessings of every day, because soon those blessings will take other forms and will take place in a different country.
On Friday I went to the Malecon with Mike and Dan, where we ran into some Guayaquileños studying English who had a grand old time testing the language out on us. It´s true I stayed out past my 9:00 bedtime, but it was a fun, though slightly strange, evening.
On Saturday I went to Nancy´s house where we made 75 empanadas for the bingo in the afternoon. The bingo took place in the Casa Comunal, led by members of the Comunidad de Base in order to raise money for Christmas baskets which they distribute to people who most need it during the Holidays. A lot of people from Comunidad de Base and from the neighborhood came, and it was a great time too. Saturday night we spent a little time at Walter´s house to celebrate his birthday. We ate Chinese food, played cards, and talked.
Sunday morning I went with Nancy to teach catechesis. Then she and I made lasagna! They don´t have an oven, so I ran it over to our house to cook and returned to their house with the other volunteers to share the meal with her family. It turned out well, and it was so cool to sit at the dinner table with the volunteers and the Palma´s and spend time together. I left to the voices of Martha, Maria, and Rosita saying "Chao ñaña!" (Bye sister!). Then I went to mass and then attended the intercambio between Alison´s group of visitantes and Shalom, where we sang and danced.
That was my weekend - a very Ecua-weekend indeed, and full of blessings.
Which I will continue to remind myself to appreciate, because "Ya mismo me voy."
Be praying for us, the new volunteers who are currently at orientation in the States, all those involved in this work, and all our neighbors and the many needs that exist here. Know that we are praying for all of you too. |
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| A month to go??? |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|01:55 pm] |
It´s surreal to think that in one month this year-long experience that seems so big is going to end. Of course, it won´t end end, but it will end in its present form, and we volunteers will all hop onto a plane to Miami and go our separate ways from there.
Things are moving, day by day, and we´re staying very busy with meetings, retreat groups, visitors, and emergencies. Last week for spirituality night we made To Do Lists of all the things we want to do before we leave. I have a long list, but it´s mostly filled with all the people I want to spend time with and say goodbye to.
After some events that happened in the community and several days talking about the mission of Rostro de Cristo, I think many of us just have more questions about our purpose here. What exactly is it that we should have been doing and should be doing now? What is the best way to spend our time in Ecuador, and what might be best in the long run even if it´s not ideal looking at in in the short term? Where is the balance in the benefit of feeling helpless and in how we are called to help our brothers and sisters? There are a lot of different ways to live out a year like this, and I don´t think we did it perfectly. But I do think we´ve learned as time has gone on, and that we have done what we could, when we could, with what we had. We can´t know on Day 1 what we do on Day 345. And I am certain that in the next month and in the years to come, we will continue to reflect and discern.
The recent death of a neighbor of ours might be the one thing from this year that had the strongest impact on me and will give me the motivation to fight for social justice after this year. Luis´family had called for an ambulance for him, which never came. They waited on the curb for a passing car or taxi to help - no luck. Finally Patricia and Belgica knocked on our door, crying and asking us if we had a car to take their dad to the hospital. We didn´t have any there, but we called Kevin and he came to help. Kevin, Dan, and Alison went to the hospital while I stayed with the girls. The problem with hospitals here is that if you´re poor, you´re s.o.l. If you´ve got money, the waiting room includes couches, big screen TVs, and few patients because they´re all being attended to. If you´re poor, you´ve got chaos, all kinds of people in serious condition waiting around to be seen. Don´t have the money? - Too bad. Maybe you eventually get seen, and they tell you a list of supplies and things they´re going to need to help you, none of which they have at the hospital, so you have to leave the hospital and find the nearest pharmacy to buy the things with the money you don´t have and return to the hospital to wait around some more. And all this in an emergency situation. I keep thinking how differently Luis´situation would have played out had they been a wealthy family. Patricia and Belgica are doing ok. The rest of their family has been helping out a lot, and kids are resilient. But I know that they have had and will continue to have hard lives.
We´ve had a few other blows, like Katie having to leave early. I was incredibly impressed with her maturity and selflessness throughout the leaving process. She´s got a huge heart and has really been present to the people this year, and nothing will change the good she did during her 10 1/2 months here.
Besides some blows and doubts, things really have been going well. My family and Kurt came to visit in May. We spent time with the neighbors, shoved my dad´s face in a birthday cake, went to Cuenca and went hiking in the Andes, and saw the sights in Guayaquil. They were glad to finally put some faces to the names I´ve been talking about all year.
We had our last volunteer retreat at the beach a couple weeks ago. We spent a lot of our time reflecting on the gifts and the journey of our volunteer community. Some of my favorite moments this year have been the times I´ve spent with the volunteers, sharing in spirituality nights, coloring, cutting up chocolate with machetes... While it´s not always easy, living in an intentional community is a huge blessing, and it will be strange to adjust to not living in community next year.
Kerri, a former volunteer who was here visiting last week, gave me the advice to enter the last month here with an attitude of gratitude, and that is what I´m going for. Actually, I´m not living life much different than before, which I think is a good thing. I´m just trying to really appreciate the time spent with people. Trying to cherish every bite of Nancy´s food and hold on to every hug from her girls. Trying to love my students extra, even when they´re super malcriado. Trying to make time to enjoy the company of my housemates. As of now, I feel a lot of peacec and am not panicking too much that the year is almost over. It is what it is, and it has to come to an end.
Thanks so much to everyone who has supported me throughout the year.
God bless, and see many of you soon.
Jenny |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2007|02:43 pm] |
So, part of me thinks that I´m so far behind that I don´t know where to begin, so I should just admit defeat. But the rest of me knows that I can do the best I can to catch up! And I think an update is called for.
Nuevo Mundo vacation has come and gone. We are currently in our 2nd week of classes for the academic year. At the moment I am set to teach 8th, 9th, and 10th grades, but like always, flexibility is key here. It´s nice to see these old familiar faces again.
While on vacation I continued helping at the dispensario every morning, but I had the help of a senior from Nuevo Mundo, Patti. I got in some good practice at listening to Spanish because she always had an interesting story for me, and her daily request of “Cuentame algo” pushed me to also tell her about the events of my day. It´s always nice when someone´s patient enough to listen to a sentence that takes 4.7 minutes to spit out.
From the dispensario I went to the soup kitchen to help serve lunch. It was good to meet some new people, pray the rosary, play with the kids, and laugh with the women in the kitchen as they tried to fatten me up with their food. I´m really glad I got the chance to spend some time at the comedor.
After the soup kitchen I would go to the after-school program Valdivia to help Alison and Mara. We spent the whole time preparing for the 1st Annual After School Program Olympics. The Olympiadas were a great success, but next year I think we need to teach how to lose with class.
During vacation I also led my first retreat group, St. John´s high school, which happened to be during the week of Carnaval. Carnaval is the celebration during the Sunday – Tuesday before Ash Wednesday. During these days, it suddenly becomes mandatory that you let people poor water, paint, etc. on you. Luckily there wasn´t any mud, eggs, or oil involved in our neighborhood. The retreat group members were great sports, and the truth is that we had a blast playing with the neighbor kids and getting messy. Both leading the retreat group and participating in Carnaval were really positive experiences.
So that´s how I spent my vacation. Having so much time in the neighborhood was a huge blessing. I built stronger relationships with neighbors and met many people for the first time. Now that I´m going back to Mundo, I need to refocus where my time is spent and see that my community is at the school as well. But I´m planning to do what I can to keep up the relationships I was able to build.
That´s all I have time for now, even though I´ve still left a lot out up to this point. More to come.
Blessings. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2007|01:51 pm] |
Hello all....
I know, i know... Los años!!
Sorry, I´ll find time to write soon.
Just wanted to say hi.
And for your viewing pleasure, a picture from Carnaval, how they celebrate Fat Tuesday in Ecuador...
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| Hello 2007 |
[Jan. 18th, 2007|03:20 pm] |
Since I've last written, I've shared much with my neighbors and fellow volunteers - Jesus' birthday, a 4th of July Christmas Eve dinner, an Italian Christmas day dinner, New Year's Eve craziness, electricity problems and therefore a candlelit dinner with Raul, a death, and the last week of classes at Mundo before vacaciones.
(By the way, without Internet access at Mundo during break, I probably won't be checking my email much until April)
Christmas Eve was an experience. That morning we went with the Shalom group and others to 28 de Agosto and the surrounding areas to deliver food, clothes, and toys. One of the Ecuadorians said that they "were going to give things to the poor" (the poor serve the poorer - it's all a matter of perspective). The day included 20 people piled in a pickup truck, a flat tire, and an unforgettable time of distributing the supplies.
Long story very short, we ended up having a wonderful 4th of July dinner of chili dogs, chips, and salad on Christmas Eve with Kevin's family. I figured it was pretty close to the traditional dinner of chili my mom makes every Christmas Eve back home. It was a wonderful celebration. Then we went to the Arbolito mass - now THAT was a celebration! I think my favorite part was singing Apurate mi Burrito. It's not that I didn't miss my family, but it's just that I had so much to be thankful for. What a great group of newfound friends and neighbors, what great company, what a celebration.
Christmas morning Kevin, Kevin's mom and I made a pancake breakfast. Then I visited some neighbors to wish them Merry Christmas. It was a calm Christmas Day. Then we all headed over to Sr. Annie's for an Italian Christmas dinner. First we exchanged affirmation letters (our Christmas presents to each other, as we're falta dinero). Then we munched on snacks, socialized, and finally ate our fill of the wonderful food prepared by Annie. Then all the volunteers except Mara and I left for Quito, leaving the two of us in the sad silence that follows a celebration. I missed my companeros, but Mara's brother came to fill the void, and then Kurt came!
I really had a nice time when Kurt was here, it was so great to see him. I introduced him to a bunch of neighbors, we went for a quick stroll on the Malecon and to the artisan market, and we went to Playas for a day and a half. We returned from Playas in plenty of time to experience the craziness of New Years Eve - most noteably the burning, exploding life-size dolls on every street corner. My neighbor's music didn't stop until 1pm the next day. Anyway, the visit was all very nice. My only complaint was that it was too short.
The next fun, new experience for me - los grillos! Crickets more or less. We imagine it to be like the plague of locusts in Biblical times. If only I could have prepared somehow. Instead we were in for a surprise when we showed up for a Comunidad de Base meeting held outside a few weeks ago. As we walked in Mara said, "I think I just pulled a grillo out of my hair." Well we shrugged and laughed it off. But boy were we in for it. We discovered they were ALL OVER, flying every which way and often landing on some part of us with a thud. At first I was rather grossed out and afraid I was going to spend the whole meeting laughing, as you can imagine. Oh, silly gringas fussing over the grillos. But by the end of the night I was already more accustomed to them. I was even picking them out of Mara's hair without much problem - we had each other's backs. The Ecuadorians taught us how to grab them in our hands and slam them down on the ground. Kind of like how my dad slams down the dough when we make Christmas cookies. But not quite. So Mara and I made it through the meeting. Solidarity to the max ;)
Last Friday as I led morning prayer, I read the verse from Romans 12 - Rejoice when others rejoice, and weep when others weep. That was the day I found out that Nila's (the nurse at the dispensario) son had died in a motorcycle accident. I went to her house for the wake and all I could say was "Lo siento." I don't know how one could take that in, accept it, go on. I can't imagine what she's feeling. She's a wonderful woman.
And still, life goes on in Ecuador. I just finished reading the book my brother gave me for Christmas, Gilead. It's about an old preacher nearing death, and he's writing these memories to his son because he won't be there as his son grows up. He has a lot to say about this world and about existence - mostly that he loves it. He writes to his son, "It's your existence I love you for, mainly. Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined." Also, "And I can't believe that, when we have all been changed and put on incorruptibility, we will forget our fantastic condition of mortality and impermanence, the great bright dream of procreating and perishing that meant the whole world to us. In eternity this world will be Troy, I believe, and all that has passed here will be the epic of the universe, the ballad they sing in the streets."
Asi es la vida.
Peace and God bless. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2007|12:52 pm] |
Happy 2 year anniversary Kurt :)
Had to make sure everyone knew... Hehe. |
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| Up with the Christmas Decorations, Up with the Temperature |
[Dec. 5th, 2006|10:26 am] |
So.... Can it be that Thanksgiving is passed and Christmas is on its way? It must be the case as we lit the first advent candle at mass on Sunday, but I think maybe it´s all one big trick, because the weather´s only getting hotter, and my little mind doesn´t understand. On Thursday I helped hang up Christmas decorations at the dispensario, which actually did increase my excitement for the coming of Christmas. Now we just need to have a snowflake making party at our house and start decorating our casa.
Now that we´re beginning to tackle our 5th month in Ecuador, I´ve got my routine and my work and my neighbors and my housemates and, well, life in Ecuador, and I´m living it. And now that we´re into it a bit, I´m accustomed to a lot of things that used to seem like such chores. I´m continuing to learn Spanish and am reassured that I´ve been having conversations lately that I never could have had 2 months ago, despite the daily frustrations with the language. With an increase in understanding of Spanish comes fuller conversations with neighbors and more understanding of who they are and how they live. Their situations are becoming a little more real to me, and I´m giving more and more of my heart to this place and these people. Our neighbor Wellington told the retreat group a few days ago that he loves everything about Ecuador. The only thing he doesn´t like is having to say goodbye to the volunteers every year. It´s tough knowing that as soon as we build these relationships we´ll be leaving, but there´s a reason for it.
What am I learning? I´m becoming more street smart, learning how to fend for myself, learning how to think about how my decisions will affect others with every little choice I make, often failing to be selfless but still learning to remind myself to be. I´m learning some Spanish and some cooking skills, learning the joy of warm bread in the morning. Learning to be thankful for a shower whether it´s long and hot or short and cold. Learning that there´s no such thing as a quick run to the corner store. I´m learning the quirks of my housemates and the absurdity of life sometimes. I´m learning patience again and again and again, learning to push myself and give more than I thought I could. Learning to think of the other first even if, again, I often fail to do so. Learning the joy of relationships and conversations, and learning what´s really important and what´s not. Learning that kids charging me with open arms and huge smiles ALWAYS makes me smile too, no matter how I was feeling before that moment. Learning to remind myself over and over that it´s all a journey, it´s all poco a poco.
What do I get a kick out of? Walking from AJS to Arbolito to go to mass on Sunday mornings and waving to Padre Manuel as he passes by on his motorcycle. Ecuadorians singing happy birthday in English. "Dame-ing la mano" (the sign of peace) at Comunidad de Base. Random cows on the street. Being winged by a turkey on the bus. Exchanging riddles with my neighbor Walter. Hearing little Rosita try to pronounce "Jennifer". The occassional hilarious miscommunications as we gringos try to communicate (I just want to order a pizza!). Using the word chuzo. Dan´s impersonations. All kinds of random experiences on the bus. My 9th graders performing their version of Peter Pan (the fight scene was pretty awesome). The charming "Why Jenny, Why?" I hear as I hand back papers with even a fraction of a point marked off. Ecuador!
There are many reasons to be joyful and thankful and many reasons to celebrate. There are also plenty of things to be sad about and angry about. But we´ve got one common hope, and there´s reason to continue.
Siga no mas.
Jenny
For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."
Gal 5:13-14 |
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